Obligatory Redskins Discussion Post

That felt goooood. The Redskins offense is a completely different animal with Clinton Portis lining up in the backfield and the Skins proved it tonight. After all the talk about last week being a fluke performance against a slipshod defense, the Redskins showed up at FedEx Field and put up 152 rushing yards, breaking Jacksonville's 13-game streak of not allowing a 100-yard rushing game. Perhaps the bigger story is that Portis wasn't the story, with all the focus going to Santan Moss and his three touchdowns. It looks like Al Saunders' playbook might finally be starting to make some sense.

On the other side of the ball, the defense allowed only 33 yards rushing, which is an obscenely low number. Presumably, this is because at some point the Jaguars realized that they could pass the ball downfield more or less at will. Not to take anything away from the Skins' run defense, which was impressive, but the weaknesses in the secondary are going to be an issue. Get well soon, Sean Springs.

Also, the Redskins had four penalties for 40 yards. Not good, but not nearly as bad as the first three weeks.

Mr. Happy Face

I'm not going to lie, when the Texans scored on their first drive, I got worried. Really worried. But my fears were completely unfounded, as I should have known they would be. See, here's the thing: Last night (and I swear I am not making this up), in a dream, I was visited by the ghost of Southeast Jerome. I don't remember what he said or did, or if he was even a real part of the dream or just a passing image. Regardless, it was clearly an omen, and from now on, I will learn to trust my psychic dreams.

In all seriousness though, I know the Redskins were playing the Texans, and that was a large part of their success today. But take a look at the numbers for the three offenses that have played against Houston this year. In Week One, the Eagles offense had 441 yards (311 passing, 130 on the ground) for 24 points. The next week, the Colts lit up the scoreboard to the tune of 43 points on 515 yards of offense (390 through the air, 125 on the ground). By comparison, the Redskins today had 495 yards offense, just twenty fewer than the highly regarded Colts' offense. The 261 passing yards Brunell put up weren't particularly impressive compared to Peyton Manning and Donovan McNabb, but the Skins' 234 rushing yards were almost as many as the Colts and Eagles combined. All in spite of a staggering 126 penalty yards.

How much do these numbers mean? Probably not much. Unless, of course, the Redskins can cut down on the penalties. Either way, the point is that if you have Clinton Portis on your fantasy team, be sure to check back here regularly, and I'll keep you posted on my Southeast Jerome-related dreamings.

Tom Cruise: Offensive Coordinator

When the announcement was made that Tom Cruise would be joining into a business partnership with Redskins owner Dan Snyder, a great cry went up throughout the land. Finding a Redskins fan who wanted to be associated with Tom Cruise's special brand of crazy was like trying to find someone who had gone to see Cruise's last movie. This was mostly due to Cruise's association with the Church of Scientology and his controversial views on psychiatry, but few fans thought it would have any affect on the actual on-field performance of the football team.

It is a little known fact, however, that in addition to their non-sensical views on psychiatry, Scientologists also have some absurd beliefs when it comes to the forward pass in football. More specifically, Scientologists do not believe in throwing the football more than eight yeards down the field at any given time. Also, according to Scientology, no football should ever be thrown except on third down.

While this strategy is seemingly, in the words of Tom Jackson, "retarded", the Scientologists are actually one step ahead of teams like the Cowboys. Apparently, long pass completions result in extraordinarily high levels of Thetans in the arms and hands, resulting in a high number of dropped balls (and broken fingers). If Scientologists are correct, by Week 15, Redskins recievers will be laughing all the way to the endzone.

When asked about his inexplicably conservative play calling during the game against Dallas, Redskins' assistant head coach (offense) Al Saunders replied "You don't know the history of passing. I do." When pressed further by NBC sideline reporter Andrea Kremer, he replied "You're glib, Andrea. You're just... you're glib."

One Week

It's Monday. Which can only mean one thing. There are just seven days left before the Washington Redskins take on the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football. Don't let my constant talk of hockey fool you, I'm extremely excited about the whole thing. This will be my first real Redskins game since that fateful day when I turned 21 years of age.

Now the problem becomes: Where to watch? I honestly have no idea where I should go to watch this game. Obviously, I can't just stay at home, but going to the wrong bar could turn out to be even worse than being alone. So I open it up to you, loyal reader(s). Any suggestions?

My inevitable decline

I've been doing this blog for nearly two months now and, so far, have managed to avoid a single entry relating to the Redskins. Today, the streak ends with my noting of the fact that Sean Taylor worked out a plea agreement with Miami-Dade prosecutors. He won't see any jail time which means he won't miss any playing time. Which can only be a good thing.

It never ceases to amaze me how when an athlete from another team gets the professional athlete special treatment in the courts I get really upset, but when it's a Redskin I find myself shouting "He's innocent!" from the rooftops. Fickle, I know. Sorry.