Why Are the Yinzer Everywhere?

So I went to my local bar to watch the Titans yesterday -- who, by the way, are 7-7. That's right the fucking Titans are playing .500 football. Believe it, bitches!
Anyway, as people know, I live in Washington, DC so I expected the Redskins-Saints game to be on the biggest of the large-screen TVs – as much as I hate them, the Skins are the home team, after all.
But no – a whole passle of Yinzers took over my bar and had their game on the big TV with sound. What a bunch of insufferable douchetards those Yinzers are. They actually still care about their head-injured QB and the rag-tag group of losers known as the Steelres. I gues I should give them credit but all I want to do is punch them in the face.
And here’s the deal, Pittsburghers. There is already a Yinzer bar on Capitol Hill – it’s called the Pour House and is my own personal version of hell. So don’t turn my perfectly good local tavern into some sort of adjunct Steelers outpost. We are just too decent for that sort of thing.

And that picture up there? Child abuse, pure and simple.