The Opossum-Palooza

It's okay. We don't know what the name means either.


Poor Bevo Meets His Maker

Let us all issue a silent prayer in sincere thanksgiving for the passing on of Bevo XIII, the longest-serving of the Texas Longhorns mascots. The poor, miserable creature was on the sidelines of UT games for 16 seasons, getting abused by drunken redneckswho were making that stupid fucking “hook ‘em horns” sign. It would surprise me not one bit if he got high with Matthew McConaughey. I just hope they didn’t get naked and play bongos together. Death was surely a blessed escape for the wretched creature.
Bevo even traveled here to our Nation’s Capital in 2001 to be a part of President Bush II’s inauguration. Talk about animal abuse. Someone call the SPCA. By the way, if I saw one more woman in DC that week with a fur coat, cowboy hat and "don't mess with texas" pin, I was going to turn into that guy at UT who was up in the Bell Tower asking for cheese sandwiches while shooting at undergrads. My God.
At any rate, Bevo XIV is in mourning, as is half of Texas, apparently. The headlines have actually referenced "The Big Ranch in the Sky" and Bevo's having "Moved on to Greenest of Pastures."
Jesus Christ, these Texans are fucktarded.

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At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Ballad of Charles Whitman" by Kinky Friedman might help someone understand the bell tower shooting. Since it is a satirical song about it from the next governor of Texas, however, I doubt it.

At 11:34 PM, Blogger BigTDog said...

Sorry for not reading this "Sooner"

I appreciate your outrage Siobhan


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